Dealing with financial struggles
Maureen Mennor Nwaezeigwe
First of all, stop playing the victim.
Most times, single mothers stay up awake late at nights thinking hard and crying their eyes sore, and in the morning eye pencils are used to cover the puffiness of the eyes so people would think it is just make up. Make up your mind not to remain in this position any longer. Think outside the box, be ready to multitask, and stop having any kind of entitlement mentality towards your family and friends...They should help if they can; but if they don't it should not give you reasons to display attitudes towards them. Naturally one's family should be there like a solid rock behind you at such times of adversity and some families have proven to be such great support. My family was there for me and still are. But even if they do give, you should still push yourself to do more so you can be more. " It is not what you are not that holds you back, but what you think you are not", "Nothing changes until your mind changes" Those are just some of the beautiful quotes from Dr. Myles Munroe that I came upon recently and I find tremendously enriching.
You must stop " the victim" mentality and take charge of your life. When I left my marriage in 2015, I was broke to zero level, I had no money to my name. I returned to my village and sought God desperately …I fasted and prayed like my life depended on Him! and in fact it did depend on Him. But while I was fasting and praying I was looking for Jobs and business opportunities and when I found nothing in Delta State, I created a Radio programme on Delta Broadcasting Service, the management favoured me because I sounded professional( I was professional, having worked with some of the best media brands in the country in the past-before my fall in that season) and I was given free airtime. That radio programme impressed them so much, they gave me another free air time on Tv...money came in trickle and it was a tough period for me, but the ball was bouncing again and I was up. And while I did those, I continued searching for greater opportunities. God opened more doors and showed me His plan towards pulling me up through dreams and they began to manifest in reality. I went from one step to another step. Today I work three jobs plus any thing my hands find to do. God opened doors, brought people to help me, gave me ideas...I am still pushing. I have not yet arrived, but I am surely on my way by God's grace.
I have shared a bit of my journey with you to inspire you. I have a group of single mothers
I relate with through this Foundation and I know that most of the challenges they face stem from lack of sufficient money to attend to their needs and those of their children. It is not easy ladies, but it can be done. As I said in my opening, be ready to multitask. There is no other way, one source or even two cannot cut it. And don't just do anything, make sure that what you do brings the bacon, if it does not; drop it and make a switch or combine it with other jobs/businesses on the side; instead of being on a job that does not make any difference in your life and complain. It is true that a rolling stone gathers no moss, but make sure that whatever you commit to is worth it and has got the moss, avoid motion without progress, be intentional, be ambitious...and be a lady!
Finance is central to the smooth and efficient running of any system family inclusive. The chief operations officer of the Home is the wife/mother, while the husband/father is the General manager. This therefore means it is of the utmost essence for the woman to have financial management skills and a comfortable degree of financial independence before and during marriage, and if unfortunately, after marriage. This is central to escaping what I call the male financial trap into which 99% of women fall into.
ReplyDeleteIt's usually very easy to convince women to get into marriage on the man's financial account without any financial leverage for the woman. The man doles out all monies for the running of the family. This gives the man absolute power and control over love and family affairs,and in most cases becomes the Lord and master too. This usually leads to abuse and gross disrespect for the woman which is pivotal in the dissolution of most marriages, when the woman can no longer tolerate the abuse.
It's usually traumatic for the women starting from the scratch after marriage especially if she has to raise the children as it mostly the case. Coping with emotional, physical, psychological trauma and financial stress is not for the faint hearted, especially a woman who was financially dependent in a male dominant financial climate. Learning the financial ropes and independence exposes the lady to so much abuse and insult by men from whom she may seek financial help in cash or asking for jobs. Men usually consider financially vulnerable women as fair game to be had and passed around for favours asked.
It is therefore very very important for women to learn financial skills and independence before and during marriage to forestall stories that touch the heart scenarios. The duration of marriages cannot be ascertained. Even if it doesn't break up the possibility of the husband's demise is there,and it's wise to be forward thinking. No human is made to live forever.
Always check the expiration date on a government-issued check.
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