DATING AGAIN 3

  you need love, care, honour and peace

By Maureen Mennor Nwaezeigwe

Once you have confirmed that you both share same faith and spiritual persuasions, and have also sized him up and believe he is man enough to command your respect a.k.a reverence (this is very crucial for both your sakes), because if you marry a man that is “lower” than you, it won’t be long before you stopped respecting him. When you realize that he is not puling you up, he is not adding value to you. If he is not proving to be “more” than you, it won’t be long before the attraction fades and sex will become a chore that you don’t look forward to. One of the greatest attractions to a man is his masculinity (All of it. Everything about him that is not feminine). If you look past that because you are friends, or because of the men on the present list for selection; he seems closer home- perhaps his language, tribe or aspirations- and you marry him, it may not be long before you ask yourself “what have I gotten myself into?” He also needs to have his wife’s respect, it is like a sweet fragrance to him. It is the grease to his manhood and if you don’t have it for him nor give it to him, his pride and ego would be greatly bruised and he will be an unhappy husband. Neither of you should be subjected to such a life.

Money! Oh yea. Very important and controversial. No decent lady puts a price on it!! You get my drift? Only prostitutes do. That is why money is not the first nor the second on my list of things to look out for. But we must also not shy away from the truth that without money, it won’t also be long before financial pressure becomes a major source of unhappiness in the home. House rent, school fees, food, medicals, welfare, extended family commitments, recreations, good looks etc. all these would suffer if there is not enough money available. At the heart of so many marital problems is financial challenge of different types. If you, as the woman has enough money to keep the family and you don’t mind, that’s alright. There are also times when some men who once had money suffer setbacks and at such times, the woman, if she has should step in and keep things together for the family for a period of time.  So yea, love don’t cost a thing, but maintenance costs a lot!! If you know, you know.

Honour. When a man loves a woman, he honours her. Love for a woman by her man is just as important as respect a.k.a reverence is to a man from his woman. When he loves you, he won’t mistreat you nor your children from your previous marriage, he won’t put you down publicly nor privately, he won’t cheat on you and if he does (as we all know that many men cheat), he won’t be the type that would do it right under your nose with his secretary, your friends, your relatives or neighbors, because he would not want to give anyone the impetuous to look down on you nor disrespect you. He won’t want you to be made a fool of by his actions, and making a fool of you will not be a turn- on for him. Same way, when a woman reverences her man, she won’t let another man lay a finger on her body, not even for all the money nor power in the world and she won’t want to ridicule him by being disloyal to him, belittling his manhood before another man. You make your man look very small to any man you give your body to. You take away his manhood before that man. YOU PROTECT WHO YOU LOVE, YOU DON’T BECOME THE ENEMY. So ladies, you MUST be sure he loves you, for therein lies your honour and peace. If you see any trace of cheating, if you notice he loses control when he sees women… looking at “backsides and front sides”,  If he is always carrying his mobile phone like a new born baby…if you don’t trust him, delete him from the list. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

Maureen Mennor Nwaezeigwe