Do not fight your ex...BE SILENT!!

By Maureen Mennor Nwaezeigwe

Naturally when relationships end, be it marriage or business, nerves are frayed, adrenalin pumping, bitter tastes in your mouth. Some people do not know how to handle all  that emotions so they go pouring out things to anyone who cares to listen, probably in a bid to exhale and find closure. But what this sort of ' premature ejaculations' and unnecessary speeches cost them is better imagined than experienced. They don't know it is just not RIGHT on any level to spill the beans.

Just KEEP AND STAY SILENT. The recent interview of the former royals has put a burning desire in my heart to address this for members of this foundation and the many that visit our website and would also visit our YouTube channel which we have only just launched, because I plan to make a video on this subject. Family remains a sacred institution whether you fall out or fall apart. You cant expose them to public debate. Those who have gone public may think they will get sympathy, opportunity to prove their innocence, get back on the man and or his family for what have been done to them...I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but my dear, if you did that , you would have only ended up being an entertainer and a content  provider. 

Having walked away from the relationship, just leave it at that. Let it go. Look ahead. You want to talk? Go to a very close family member you can trust, surely there must be one family member you can relate with. Could be your sister, mother, father, brother,  cousin, niece nephew or uncle; there must be someone safe to pour out your heart to or a really close friend of proven INTEGRITY, trustworthy on whose shoulders you can lean on and cry a river! Because you would need to cry no doubt, you would need to talk no doubt, but talk to the right person please. If you are an introvert like me, you would  rather lock yourself up, stay in bed, on your knees, drink lots of tea ( am Hausa when it comes to tea...hello extra large mug!). Since after the end of my marriage I have had three media interviews ( twice with VANGUARD newspaper and online TV and with GENEVIEVE MAGAZINE) and  I NEVER agreed to discuss my marriage nor what happened with my ex husband, I chose rather to focus on the Singlemomhood Support Initiative Foundation, and even now that he is deceased, I will never say a word about him to any public space. And this code of silence that I propose is not just because of the children and that is a major reason; but the simple fact that you cannot win with that strategy...the " you hurt me so I will hurt you back" syndrome is never cool. Especially when it comes to family, never burn the bridge!!! And I know it may be tempting if the person has been having a field day running his mouth against you, refusing to pay the children's school fees, insulting you when you ask him to be more responsible toward his children; but still put a lid on your lips. Occupy yourself with work and business. Just keep pushing, go for counselling, seek help in areas where you need help, and never feel too shy to ask for help, this Foundation has dealt with situations of attempted suicides and thankfully, after talking and praying with the dear women, a whole new perspective to life popped up in their spirits and now they are so much better, with evidence of great improvements in their lives.

Everybody get problems o, na who talk im own people dey know! Simply put, we all gat issues we are dealing with, yours is only exposed when you spill. And why spill? what result are you expecting to get from the spill? What glory comes from it? what solutions come from it? you may get some " oh sorry...such a wicked man ...blah blah blah, but don't forget that you entered that marriage by yourself, so take responsibility for your mistake. Even if your parents forced you into it, it became your story the moment you started living the life, why make a public show of it? EMBRACE THE POWER OF SILENCE.

Maureen Mennor Nwaezeigwe

Youtube: singlemomhood support initiative