Rings of lies

                                                          Rings of lies

By Maureen Mennor Nwaezeigwe

 I have continued to be amazed at how women are so obsessed with rings. During my university days especially the final year, it was observed and said among my course mates  that some of the ladies among us were wearing "fake engagement rings" just to give the impression that they had a man  who would marry them soon after we graduated. Today, and away from the university setting into the "real world" one still finds women/ladies using rings to deceive themselves and I continue to wonder at this show of...(ok, I should not use the word coming to me, because I respect everyone irrespective of our differences in beliefs).

I cant stop wondering why some ladies feel the need to give a false impression about their marital status. There are events they want to attend and they would feel the need to "pad up" the second finger of the left hand to give the impression that they are married, and if that makes them happy, that's fine, but for some us who do not need to be seen as married to be respected; one just cant help but marvel. Perhaps it is because I am not as we say it in local parlance " a ring person" I find the stuff quite uncomfortable to wear, the few times I tried to use it as accessory I kept adjusting until I totally removed the stuff and tucked it away in my bag. I have to push myself to wear wrist watches because just like rings, strapping it round my wrist feels stressful; especially now that my mobile phone can also keep time and since no wristwatch maker  has paid me to become a brand ambassador for them, I just don't feel the necessity. But maybe its because am just not that fashionable-right? I guess people like us must be seen as strange by those who love to wear rings. My immediate elder sister likes to rock fashionable rings to accessorize her outfits and she sometimes tried in the past to encourage me to wear them, but has given up and simply accepted baby sister the way she is!  And there is absolutely nothing wrong in wearing rings, my shock is when it is worn to create a falsehood about marital status.

I wish ladies and women would learn to realize that there is no need to fake what can be real; as a sweet and dear pastor I recently discovered online would say! He would say: " why fake what can be real?" and really; why? be yourself, love yourself and accept yourself. I guess it portrays the burden women bear as a result of perceived societal expectations, it is really hard in this clime for matured women to be single, but hello, the fact is that you are single. You have been married before and the marriage failed. It may and may not have been your fault, but should you then kill yourself? hide yourself from people? lose respect of people??...it is really dependent on you because the value you place on yourself is what others would use to measure you. If you are a responsible woman, decently dressed whenever you make an appearance, I see no reason why anybody should think of disrespecting you; and if anyone should be so full of him or herself enough to dare, you should respectfully know how to put such  in his or her place.

You don't need to live a lie, or how long do you wish to live this way? It just speaks to your insecurities. Marriage is one of the most beautiful things that God Almighty has put in place and I mean with the right person it can really be so sweet and fulfilling. To have an ally with whom you can share anything and anytime, to have a covering, a head and a great friend. No doubt being single at an age when you should be married can be so unpleasant sometimes, there is no denying this, but it is what it is right now, tomorrow is pregnant and while you await what tomorrow holds, just try and relax. Love the you that now is, make her the best version of you that has ever existed. Return to the person who has the manual of your capacities...your manufacturer and He will show you just how to live this moment, what to activate and how to operate. Even the most intelligent and brilliant of persons have found this to be the true.

Throw away the fake engagement and wedding rings and allow your finger breathe. I shouldn't even bother adding that wearing the fake could chase away the real, it is only irresponsible men that would see a woman wearing wedding rings and still want to get close. Surely you would want an authentic Prince charming to one day put real rings on it...or you just wanna stick with the fakes?!!

MAUREEN MENNOR NWAEZEIGWE